Ranking Bloomburrow’s cutest critters.
Bloomburrow has me even more excited than usual for Commander brewing, as I (like so many players it appears) just love the adorable aesthetic of all these furry friends. It’s a good thing that I’m hyped, as the set is bringing us a grand total of 34 new legendary creatures to build around (if you include the new creatures in the Commander set and Starter Kit as well).
Here, I’ll be ranking them from the worst to the best of the set, but with a notable twist for this set in particular. My usual criteria that go into my rankings involve how powerful the card is, how well it benefits an existing archetype, or whether it helps support a new strategy. I’ll also be adding in one more hefty weight for Bloomburrow: cuteness. Because how adorable your new animal friend is should absolutely be a factor. Onto the cards!
#34 Dragonhawk, Fate’s Tempest
Dragonhawk, Fate’s Tempest
Bloomburrow, Mythic
Here the cuteness rating is already weighing in — this creature is definitely cool, but cute? I’m afraid not. That aside, it asks you to jump through a few too many hoops to actually exile cards, and then it’s fighting with the likes of Prosper, Tome-Bound for the exile-matters theme. That’s not fair competition, but it’s competing nonetheless, and the fates are not kind. You can do better!
#33 Beza, the Bounding Spring
Beza, the Bounding Spring
Bloomburrow, Mythic
Beza, similarly, isn’t what I would call cute. Pretty, maybe, and all the worse Beza asks that you be playing from behind to get anything in the way of real value. This isn’t Battle Angels of Tyr, who are also a beating in the sky, and in general, I would rather be doing many other things in Mono-White. No, I would bound away from this creature and see if you can’t find something better for the command zone.
#32 Bello, Bard of the Brambles
Bello, Bard of the Brambles
Commander: Bloomburrow, Mythic
Bello, Bard of the Brambles is another creature that takes more work to actually pop off than I’d like. Making cards that may not otherwise be threats into combat damage and cards is cool, but Bello needs to stick and can get a bit mana-hungry with all those four-plus mana value cards chewing up your slots. Oh, and angry raccoons aren’t cute, sorry trash panda lovers.
#31 Byrke, Long Ear of the Law
The otter in the background is cuter than Byrke, Long Ear of the Law and, unfortunately, six mana is a bit of an ask. I really like how huge Byrke can potentially make your combat threats (especially after he buffs a couple of them himself), but you’ve got a pretty good shot of dumping six mana for two counters and then eating removal. “Dies to removal” is a weak argument, but combine that with how many other counters matter Commanders do it better and it’s hard to rec this bunny.
#30 Maha, Its Feathers Night
Maha, Its Feathers Night
Bloomburrow, Mythic
There is a secret additional criterion for this card: fun. Maha, Its Feathers Night is killer, extremely powerful, and downright mean. It isn’t fun. Flat out, even as the person controlling this cruel effect, it will only be novel for a game or two. For pure power, it might deserve to be higher on the list, but this pretty bird also isn’t particularly adorable — save yourself and your playgroup some grief and play something else.
#29 Clement, the Worrywort
Clement, the Worrywort
Bloomburrow, Rare
The frogs of the set having synergy with bounce effects is fun and flavorful. Unfortunately, with only really one notable exception, they are not cute. Clement, the Worrywort wouldn’t warrant you worrying much about him anyway, as frogs are not all that powerful a creature type even with their new support, but if you want to run a bouncy castle deck Clement is something that you can more readily pay attention to (just don’t worry about the frog synergy!).
#28 Arthur, Marigold Knight
Arthur, Marigold Knight is our first real competition for the cuteness quotient, which has bumped him up the list higher than he might deserve. He’s pretty cool, but he doesn’t fare very well against the cards he’s competing with. He doesn’t compare well to other knights like Sidar Jabari of Zhalfir and he is laughably bad compared to Winota, Joiner of Forces. That said, he is much cuter than both of them, so if you want a knightly value Commander this will do just fine.
#27 Eluge, the Shoreless Sea
Good lord, this thing is a monster in every meaning of the phrase. Eluge, the Shoreless Sea is a glorious little engine all on its own, but boy is it mean-looking. Eluge represents a serious beating in Mono-Blue and has a solid shot at getting you generous discounts on your spellslinging after just a bit of work. The cuteness rating prevents Eluge from really rising above the tide, but I would put it high on my list of new Mono-Blue options.
#26 Flubs, the Fool
I adore the art on this directly referencing The Fool tarot card, and again Flubs just has the downside of being a frog. Amphibian lovers out there are probably railing against me even as I type, but I just do not see the visual appeal to these slimy folk. Meanwhile, Flubs, the Fool is a neat little engine but I don’t really like emptying my hand. There are ways to build him to draw through your whole deck, but I find that foolhardy.
#25 Ms. Bumbleflower
Ms. Bumbleflower
Commander: Bloomburrow, Mythic
Now here we see the titan class of cuteness! If I were not piling on an adorable bonus, Ms. Bumbleflower would be at the bottom of my list (boy, am I not a fan of Group Hug decks), but just look at that bunny! She is genuinely too cute, to say nothing of her Borderless Anime printing, and I absolutely want to try whatever food she’s got cooking. I get strong Redwall vibes here and that’s even more bonus points if you don’t mind giving your opponents resources.
#24 Muerra, Trash Tactician
The trash pandas return, and Muerra, Trash Tactician gives us a bit more of a payoff for trying out this weird little creature type. Ramp, life gain, and card advantage all on one card make this a solid option, though again angry raccoons are not exactly the cutest. Her Borderless Anime variant is a good bit better to look at, however, so if you don’t mind shelling out for the premium look then you’ll get a good bit more dopamine out of just looking at your cute Commander.
#23 Zoraline, Cosmos Caller
I have an almost unhealthy love for lifegain strategies, and Zoraline, Cosmos Caller allows me to combine that affection with a host of flying cuties. Zoraline herself provides a wonderful life buffer while also doing a more than reasonable Sun Titan impression. I also cannot stress enough how often slept on vigilance as a keyword, letting her present a consistent threat on offense and defense alike. She isn’t the single most powerful new commander option, but she’s a great workhorse (or is it workbat?) and adorable to boot.
#22 Wildsear, Scouring Maw
Who’s a good boy!? Wildsear, Scouring Maw is! Now, trying to pet this fiery furball may result in third-degree burns, but I suspect it’ll be worth it. Enchantress strategies are a lot of fun, and Wildsear gives you the chance to run it in a color combination that hasn’t really seen full support for the archetype. Cascade is also just altogether a great time to play with, giving Wildsear a leg up over the competition.
#21 Hugs, Grisly Guardian
Hugs, Grisly Guardian
Bloomburrow, Mythic
Speaking of interesting Gruul archetypes, Hugs, Grisly Guardian is a mighty badger that I want to give a hug to. Sure, that hug looks like it might kill me, but you only live once, and all that. A 5/5 trampling threat that scales at any stage of the game is worth getting hyped up for, and the fact that he then enables Landfall synergies makes him something you should strongly consider for your command zone.
#20 Camellia, the Seedmiser
Camellia, the Seedmiser
Bloomburrow, Rare
While I fear she doesn’t compete well against the classic Chatterfang, Squirrel General from Modern Horizons 2, nor even against a couple of other upcoming squirrels here, Camellia is a delightfully elegant-looking squirrely necromancer. Now, I’m not sure I’d call her cute, but if I’m going to be making any dark, necromantic bargains with squirrels, Camellia is top of the list. Not that there are many other options, but still.
#19 Baylen, the Haymaker
Token decks are powerful, and while Baylen, the Haymaker has some serious competition for the archetype from creatures like Jetmir, Nexus of Revels, Baylen offers an interesting toolkit. Mana generation, card advantage, and a finisher all rolled into one — that’s all you could ask for, but I have to ding it for being somewhat boring. She then earns back that ding with being an adorable-yet-angry rabbit, so she’s right about where she deserves to be.
#18 Hazel of the Rootbloom
While better utilized as another token Commander rather than a squirrel leader, Hazel of the Rootbloom is a particularly effective mana battery. Paying two life and tapping down a bunch of tokens is, admittedly, not a small cost, but the payoff is very real. Getting to double up on key tokens is also awesome, though I’d rather get a bonus Idol of Oblivion Eldrazi token than further doubling down on some squirrels. Also, all squirrels are cute, you’ll just have to accept that.
#17 Lumra, Bellow of the Woods
Lumra, Bellow of the Woods is no adorable teddy bear, but is the most potent of the mono-colored calamity beasts. This bear can get massive, and sometimes that’s enough, but getting to ramp up with any lands in your grave gives it an edge. While there are a lot of potential beaters in Mono-Green, the complete package here is going to be hard to beat.
#16 Kitsa, Otterball Elite
Kitsa, Otterball Elite
Bloomburrow, Mythic
Speaking of sweet packages, Kitsa, Otterball Elite has one heck of a kit. Vigilant beats, card selection, and potential copy shenanigans all work extremely well together. Kitsa is only really held back by being mono-colored, as the other otters in the set do a lot of the same while adding in red. Still, Kitsa is also a cutie, and I wouldn’t say no to playing a game of Otterball (or is it Blitzball?) assuming I could avoid drowning.
#15 Bria, Riptide Rogue
Bria, Riptide Rogue
Bloomburrow, Mythic
Bria, Riptide Rogue looks like she is having a heck of a time. That smile is positively infectious and it just feels good to have her on the board! Spreading around prowess triggers and unblockability is perfectly solid — I ultimately lean towards the last otter in the set, but Bria makes grabbing the Starter Kit basically worth it on her own. Rip open that kit and you’re on to a great start for your next otter deck!
#14 Finneas, Ace Archer
The new go-to for Rabbit decks! Finneas, Ace Archer continues an apparent theme of having a kit that is “do the thing, draw a card” but at least you have to work for this one! Finneas also has some adorably heroic flare, looking like he’s ready to jump to help his warren defend themselves, and I love him for that. If you want to run a pile of rabbits, Finneas is my recommended pick for your command zone.
#13 Ygra, Eater of All
A deeply interesting and powerful Commander, Ygra, Eater of All would normally sneak its way into at least the top five. But we’re not normal here today, and Ygra is about to chow down on all those poor critters. Unlike Wildsear, Scouring Maw, I’m not sure I want to risk the bites that will no doubt follow any attempt to pet this kitty. Provided you can look past the terrible predicament of its victims, Ygra will put in a lot of sacrificial work and get huge in the process, but at what cute cost?ARTICLE SPOTLIGHTCommander Bestiary: Ygra, Eater of AllMeat’s back on the menu boys!Harry Becker8/5/2024
#12 Kastral, the Windcrested
Kastral, the Windcrested
Bloomburrow, Rare
The undeniable power of a toolkit Commander like this is entirely impossible to ignore. I may not find birds particularly appealing, but Kastral, the Windcrested manages to ascend over the cuteness hurdle regardless. Threat generation or reanimation, buffs, or card advantage. That’s a lot, and all that Kastral asks is that you beat down with your favorite birds. Seriously though, why would you pick a bird when there are squirrels, bunnies, and otters around!?
#11 Zinnia, Valley’s Voice
Zinnia, Valley’s Voice
Commander: Bloomburrow, Mythic
I love a good bard, and a bird bard is neat. Zinnia himself isn’t particularly cute, but the implicative adorableness of creating baby creatures out of anything you play helps him maintain a spot here higher on the list. Now, notably, Zinnia, Valley’s Voice may now be the best Jeskai “goodstuff” Commander in an already competitive color combination, especially if used with strong enters effects. Worth thinking about springing for this bird.
#10 The Infamous Cruelclaw
The Infamous Cruelclaw
Bloomburrow, Mythic
There are nowhere near enough weasels in this set, but The Infamous Cruelclaw edging into the top ten at least makes up for the lack of these lovely rodents. Cruelclaw isn’t just an enigmatic smirk, he’s also a great value engine that can potentially cheat out some nonsense. You can opt to run him with only a handful of hits, namely things like Kozilek, Butcher of Truth and other titanic threats, though that one-trick strategy may get old fast. Or, you know, you could be that guy and just Worldfire. You monster.ARTICLE SPOTLIGHTCommander Bestiary: The Infamous CruelclawCruel to be kind.Harry Becker8/5/2024
#9 Mabel, Heir to Cragflame
Mabel, Heir to Cragflame
Bloomburrow, Rare
I am not immune to cute mice, and Mabel, Heir to Cragflame is both Mrs. Frisby (or Brisby if you only watched the NIMH cartoon) and several Redwall characters all wrapped together, bumping her well up the list. Few things will feel better than taking a bunch of charming mice and beating your opponents over the head with them, and the mightiest mouse here is
#8 Wick, the Whorled Mind
Wick, the Whorled Mind
Bloomburrow, Rare
I have an not-so-secret love for all things that are rats, and Wick, the Whorled Mind is our first real option for what are now all three rat colors. Now, the payoff isn’t necessarily the most powerful, and may take some time to properly pop off, but there is definitely something to be said for just gaining access to all your verminous colors. Of course, there is an infinitely cuter rat that you can consider.
#7 Vren, the Relentless
Vren, the Relentless
Bloomburrow, Rare
Okay, so ignore the cleaver and you can totally see how endearing this rat is, right? No? Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder I suppose, but my entirely objective cute calculator hasn’t been wrong yet! That aside, Vren, the Relentless’s total kit is notably one of the best in the set. Ward is known to be great, hating on graves is underrated, and most importantly her scaling tokens can snowball almost as effectively as the original Marrow-Gnawer with the right tools. I’m relentless in my recommendation of this rat.
#6 Glarb, Calamity’s Augur
Glarb, Calamity’s Augur
Bloomburrow, Mythic
Cute? Well, no, but Glarb, Calamity’s Augur has some serious swagger and that still has to count for something. Glarb is the newest in a line of value Sultai Commanders who like to slouch in a commanding manner, though he is definitely the highlight of that line. A defensive threat that gets you virtual card advantage while also feeding your graveyard is simple and effective. Notably, he requires a bit more work to use effectively, making him much more interesting than the other “does a bit of everything” Commanders in the set.
#5 Gev, Scaled Scorch
Gev, Scaled Scorch
Bloomburrow, Rare
Gev, Scaled Scorch is our lone legendary lizard and he supports his scaly kin perfectly. He gets the aggression started early and triggers all kinds of damage-based abilities. With the right combo (some starting damage and sacrifice outlet) he can even kill the table with Murderous Redcap, which is just a good time if that’s your kind of thing. He also ranks high on the list of small creatures I would like to hold, assuming he wouldn’t just set me on fire in the process.
#4 Mr. Foxglove
Mr. Foxglove
Commander: Bloomburrow, Mythic
The smitten bat in the background has the right idea, with Mr. Foxglove reminding us why Disney’s Robin Hood managed to launch a thousand furries. That obvious appeal aside, Mr. Foxglove is also yet another contender for serious power. He’s either helping you draw a healthy number of cards or dropping a big threat ahead of schedule. Oh, and he’s gaining you life chunks back in the process. Seems decent.
#3 Alania, Divergent Storm
Alania, Divergent Storm
Bloomburrow, Rare
Otterly adorable, Alania, Divergent Storm is practically the perfect storm in combining playability, power, and aesthetic adorableness. Now, normally, I’m very down on giving my opponents cards, but getting to copy spells and otters alike can add up very quickly. Even better, the political upside of handing out cards matters more here than some other political Commanders, as it just might convince your opponents to let her stick around longer. That won’t end well for them.
#2 The Odd Acorn Gang
The Odd Acorn Gang
Commander: Bloomburrow, Mythic
The Odd Acorn Gang gets you three-in-one-value on the cuteness scale, which is almost unfair. Just look at these fuzzy goobers, they’re clearly having a grand adventure as they goof around, traipsing through the trees. I would want to run them just based on the stunning art by Omar Rayyan. They’re much more than that, however, providing powerful buffs and a steady stream of cards for a popular Kindred type. Try this card in your command zone and love it!
#1 Helga, Skittish Seer
Helga, Skittish Seer
Bloomburrow, Mythic
With added cuteness weight, I’m as surprised as you are to find a frog sitting at the top of the list. Still, somehow they managed to make Helga, Skittish Seer just cute enough (maybe it’s the happy little glint in her eyes?) to keep her in her well-deserved top spot because the power is absolutely here too! She draws you cards, ramps you up to amazing beaters, and can become a massive threat herself! I like her more than Chulane, Teller of Tales, and that is truly saying something.